Change your child's behavior with these 15 proven tips

Every parent knows the challenges of dealing with their child's behavior, from tantrums to defiance to stubbornness. It can often feel like an uphill battle, leaving parents frustrated and exhausted. But fear not, there are proven strategies that can help change your child's behavior and bring peace back to your home. In this article, we'll explore 15 practical tips backed by research and real-life experiences that can make a big difference in shaping your child's actions and behavior.

A positive and constructive approach is often the best way to guide children's behavior. This means giving your child attention when he behaves well, rather than just applying consequences when your child does something you don't like. Here are some practical tips for putting this positive approach into practice.

Use your own behavior to guide your child. Your child is watching you for clues about how to behave – and what you do is often more important than what you say. For example, if you want your child to say “please,” say it yourself. If you don't want your child to raise his voice, speak calmly and kindly yourself.

Telling your child honestly how his behavior affects you helps your child see his feelings in yours. If you start sentences with “I,” this gives your child a chance to see things from your point of view. For example, “I'm upset because there's so much noise that I can't talk on the phone.”

When your child behaves the way you want, provide some positive feedback. For example, “Oh my God, you're playing great. I really like the way you keep all the things or toys on the table. This works better than waiting for things to fall to the floor before you notice it and say, “Hey, stop that.”

These positive comments are sometimes called descriptive praise because they tell children specifically what they are doing well. Try to write six positive comments for every negative comment. And remember, if children have a choice between inattention or negative attention, they will often seek negative attention.

When you get close to your child, you can tune into what he or she may be feeling or thinking. Closeness also helps your child focus on what you are saying about his behavior. If you are close to your child and have his attention, you do not need to make him look at you.

To actively listen, you can nod your head as your child speaks, and repeat back what you think your child is feeling. For example, “You seem really sad because your toy broke.” In doing so, it can help young children deal with stress and big emotions such as frustration, which sometimes lead to unwanted behavior. It also makes them feel respected and comfortable. It can even defuse potential tantrums.

When you keep your promises, whether good or bad, your child learns to trust and respect you. Your child learns that you will not let them down when you have promised something nice, and your child also learns not to try to change your mind when you explain the consequences. So when you vow to go for a walk after your child picks up the toys, make sure you have the implementation of your decision within your reach. When you say you will leave if your child does not stop running, be prepared to leave immediately.

Your child's environment can affect his behavior, so you can shape the environment to help your child behave well. This can be as simple as making sure your child's space has plenty of safe and stimulating things available to play with. Make sure your child does not have access to things that he or she could break or that might hurt him. The glasses look so much fun to play with – it's hard for kids to remember not to touch them. Reduce the chance of problems by keeping breakable items and valuables out of sight.

Before you get involved in anything your child does — especially saying “no” or “stop” — ask yourself if it really matters. By keeping instructions, requests, and negative feedback to a minimum, you create less opportunity for conflict and bad feelings. Rules are important, but only use them when they really matter.

If you give in when your child whines about something, you could accidentally train your child to whine more. “No” means “no,” not maybe, so don’t say it unless you mean it.

If you give clear instructions in simple terms, your child will know what is expected – for example, “Please hold my hand when we cross the road.” Positive rules are usually better than negative ones, because they guide your child's behavior in a positive way. For example, “Please close the gate” is better than “Do not leave the gate open.”

As your child gets older, you can give him more responsibility for his behavior. You can also give your child the opportunity to experience the natural consequences of this behavior. You don't have to be the bad guy all the time. For example, if it is your child's responsibility to pack for bed and they forget their favorite pillow, they will have to cope without it throughout the night.

Other times you may need to provide negatives

Equations of unacceptable or dangerous behavior. At these times, it is best to make sure that you have made the consequences clear and that your child has agreed to them in advance.

If you tell your child what to do — or what not to do — too often, he may ignore it. If you want to give your child one last chance to cooperate, remind him of the consequences of not cooperating. Then start counting to three.

Give your child some simple chores or things he can do to help the family. This will make your child feel important. If you can give your child plenty of practice doing his chores, he will get better at it, feel good about doing it, and want to keep doing it. And if you give your child some praise for his behavior and efforts, it will help build his self-esteem.

There are times when taking care of your child and doing the things you need to do can be difficult. If you think about these difficult situations in advance, you can plan for your child's needs. For example, give your child a five-minute warning before you need him to change activities. Talk to your child about why you need his or her cooperation. Then your child will be prepared for what you expect.

It often helps keep daily life with children light. You can do this using songs, humor, and fun. For example, you can pretend to be a threatening tickle monster who needs to pick up toys off the floor. Humor that makes you both laugh is great, but humor at your child's expense won't help. Young children are easily hurt by “teasing” parents.

In conclusion, changing your child's behavior is a process that requires patience, consistency, and understanding. By implementing the 15 proven tips outlined in this article, you can effectively address challenging behaviors and promote positive changes in your child. Remember to tailor these strategies to your child's unique personality and needs. Celebrate the small victories along the way and be open to asking for additional support or guidance when needed. Together, let us empower our children to grow and achieve their full potential through intentional, loving guidance. Start implementing these tips today and see the transformative impact on your child's behavior!